You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this., TRUE ESSAY written by a Bihar......

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~Hami~

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This is a true essay written by a Bihari(Sorry guys 4m this place.. no intention to hurt ur sentiments.. take it light ! ) candidate at UPSC ( IAS ) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian Cow.
INDIAN COW

He is the cow.The cow is a successful animal.Also he is 4 footed, and because he is female, he gives milks. He is same like God , sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement.

What can it do? Various ghee,butter, cream, curd,why and the condensed milk and so forth. And he is also useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, and also his gober (COWDUNG) is much useful to farmers, plants and trees and is used to make flat cakes, in hand and drying sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates after eating . Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapond to be parralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forewards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft onto the touch.So the grasses head is not crushed.At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow...........
 
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Deleted member 7160

LOL..:pBut I have heard that.. Mostly IAS and IIT's guys come from Bihar..Is that true?
 
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rachit_1804

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no offense to the poster but this seems kinda made upit uses words like meadows, extricate, incessantly & few others which i think no person with such poor grammar would be knowing....just a thought, but enjoy the joke :D
 
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DrSRQ

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LOL..:p

But I have heard that.. Mostly IAS and IIT's guys come from Bihar..Is that true?

Well except IIMs, all the All India level exams are cleared by overwhelming majority of Bhaiyyas (UP and Bihar)...Maharashtra performs in worst imaginable way when it comes to All India Exams.

For matter of fact, every 8th Doctor in USA is BIHARI:cool2:
 
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shantam2005

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It is a very old joke.Read it about 3-4 years ago.
 
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DrSRQ

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no offense to the poster but this seems kinda made up

it uses words like meadows, extricate, incessantly & few others which i think no person with such poor grammar would be knowing....

just a thought, but enjoy the joke :D

Yeah Kinda bad joke...I'm very sure it's not written by a UPSE candidate. Who so ever dreams for UPSE is not a below average student, who doesn't even know gender difference.
 


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hahahaha lol
 
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ya IAS is the toughest exam in the entire world as the intake is dam small :cry:
 
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Jaymin

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@ Admin.....any specific reason for liking such an old thread today??Good 1 though!! I really forgot my Grammar. This post took me good 3-4 minutes to think!!
 
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Deleted member 13033

hmm....I have heard one nice interview betwn infy recruitment manger and a bihari pretty funny :D
 
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Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know , these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative ..Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?Candidate: He he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!! Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)Interviewer: And which languages have you used?Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages. Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.Interviewer: What is your general project experience?Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes! Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?Candidate: Not much.1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.3. I believe in flexi-timings.4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys
 
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rajm11

In aggregation this is funny , this is TOO OLD of a joke, Its not real, IAS/IPS are tough exams in world , every bihari in US is doctor..... oh wait......

Well except IIMs, all the All India level exams are cleared by overwhelming majority of Bhaiyyas (UP and Bihar)...Maharashtra performs in worst imaginable way when it comes to All India Exams.

For matter of fact, every 8th Doctor in USA is BIHARI:cool2:

WRANGLER/MATHEMATICIAN Exams are tough on earth and there cannot be simple exam comparison in world. IPS/IAS exams are DA BOMB due to vast mejority of subject it encompasses.
and yah every 4th bihari is doctor is USA and every 2nd katta in India is made by Bihari!! aint that nice!!
 
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Jaymin

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But in Bihar, nothing is impossible to conquer.......due to the menace of sifarisheelals. They can even have a calendar with 31 days in Feb.
 
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rajm11

( WARNING : SARCASTIC AHEAD : DONT FLAME!!!!! or do; )
But in Bihar, nothing is impossible to conquer.......due to the menace of sifarisheelals. They can even have a calendar with 31 days in Feb.
Seriously ??? whgen was that ? last time i heard they made Laloo chalisa... THIS IS AWESOME!! BIHAR gives us anything and everything, COmedy, violence, Drama, food, katta and now even they can affect the sun!!! TAKE THAT IN FACE REST OF THE NATION!!!