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The Offtopic Thread (Archive 1)
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A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
However, the atheist had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man's job was stressful and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day, and his kids were obnoxious, and non loving.
So one day, while deep into his regular prayer, he looked towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
A great voice bellowed out from above, "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
However, the atheist had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man's job was stressful and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day, and his kids were obnoxious, and non loving.
So one day, while deep into his regular prayer, he looked towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
A great voice bellowed out from above, "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
varun120
Cult of Personality
Husband Ghar Aaya Aur Apni Wife Se Kahta Hai,
Husband: “Maan Lo Agar Mujhe Lottery Lagi To Tum Kya Karogi?”
Wife: “Aadhe Paise Le Kar Hamesha Ke Liye Maayike Chali Jayungi, Phir Main Bhi Khush Aur Tum Bhi Khush.”
Husband: “20 Rupye Ki Lagi Hai, Ye Le 10 Aur Nikal Yahan Se.”
........................
Santa Apne Dost Ko Bada Khush Hokar Bata Raha Thha
Santa: “Dubai Mein Sab Kuch Free Hai Jaise Shopping, Hotel, Taxi, Khana Peena Aur Yaha Tak Ki Sex Bhi”
Friend: “Achha, Tum Dubai Kab Gaye”
Santa: “Oye Main Nahi Gaya, Yeh To Meri Biwi Ne Bataya Hai“
..........................
Three Fastest Means Of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell A Woman
Bonus: Need Still Faster – Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.
..........................
Police Wale Ne Ek Admi Ki Car Ko Roka Aur Us Se Bola.
Police: “Tum Car Tez Kyon Chala Rahe Thhe?”
Aadmi: “Mein To Car Tez Nahi Chala Raha Thha”
Police: “Kya Saboot Hai Ke Tum Car Tez Nahi Chala Rahe Thhe?”
Aadmi: “Abe Isse Bada Or Kya Saboot Ho Sakta Hai Ki Main Apni Biwi Ko Sasural Se Lene Ja Raha Thha“
Husband: “Maan Lo Agar Mujhe Lottery Lagi To Tum Kya Karogi?”
Wife: “Aadhe Paise Le Kar Hamesha Ke Liye Maayike Chali Jayungi, Phir Main Bhi Khush Aur Tum Bhi Khush.”
Husband: “20 Rupye Ki Lagi Hai, Ye Le 10 Aur Nikal Yahan Se.”
........................
Santa Apne Dost Ko Bada Khush Hokar Bata Raha Thha
Santa: “Dubai Mein Sab Kuch Free Hai Jaise Shopping, Hotel, Taxi, Khana Peena Aur Yaha Tak Ki Sex Bhi”
Friend: “Achha, Tum Dubai Kab Gaye”
Santa: “Oye Main Nahi Gaya, Yeh To Meri Biwi Ne Bataya Hai“
..........................
Three Fastest Means Of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell A Woman
Bonus: Need Still Faster – Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.
..........................
Police Wale Ne Ek Admi Ki Car Ko Roka Aur Us Se Bola.
Police: “Tum Car Tez Kyon Chala Rahe Thhe?”
Aadmi: “Mein To Car Tez Nahi Chala Raha Thha”
Police: “Kya Saboot Hai Ke Tum Car Tez Nahi Chala Rahe Thhe?”
Aadmi: “Abe Isse Bada Or Kya Saboot Ho Sakta Hai Ki Main Apni Biwi Ko Sasural Se Lene Ja Raha Thha“
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