The Offtopic Thread (Archive 1)

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A Journalist Went To A Mental Hospital And Asked A Doctor,Journalist: “How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub And Give A Teaspoon, A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient And Ask Them To Empty The Bathtub.”Journalist: “Yeah, Obviously A Normal Person Would Use The Bucket Because Its Bigger.”Doctor: “No, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug, Now Will You Please Proceed To Bed No.39.” ........................1. Money Can’t Buy Happiness But Its More Comfortable To Cry In A BMW Than On Cycle.2. Forgive Your Enemy But Remember That Bastard’s Name.3. Help A Man When He Is In Trouble & He Will Remember You When He Is In Trouble Again.4. Many People Are Alive Only Because Its Illegal To Shoot Them.5. Alcohol Doesn’t Solve Any Problem But Neither Does Milk.6. Smoking Kills, But If You Don’t Smoke Doesn’t Mean You’ll Never Die. ........................Wife Apne Husband Ke Paas Gayi Aur Romantic Mood Mein Kehti Hai.Wife: “Suppose Karo Ki Main Tuhari Har Baat Samjhu Aur Har Baat Maanu To?”Husband Haste-Haste Zameen Par Gir Gaya Aur Zor Se Bola: “Mujhe To Sala Ye Suppose Bhi Nahi Ho Raha.”
 
Ek Ladki Nervous Halat Mein Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli,

Ladki: “Doctor Saab Maine Galti Se Apni Bhabhi Ki I-Pill Ki Goli Kha Li, Ab Main Kya Karun?

Doctor: “Bindaas Ghumo , Doston Ko Khush Karo, Ab Tum 72 Ghanton Ke Liye Prepaid Ho Chuki Ho, Jaa Aish Kar, Jee Le Apni Zindagi.”
 
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